Hidden Emotion
by fuuchouin kadzuki
Summary: Kira is confused with his feeling, whether he should the Athrun or not, so he decided to avoid Athrun, little he knew that Athrun has the same feeling with him. AthrunxKira Slight AU Mistake edited!


Disclaimer : I don't own them...

Warning : A bit AU, set after the end of Gundam Seed

Hidden Emotion

_By Mikagami Tokiya_

(Athrun's POV)

The war has ended. I wish I could stay with Kira again. He's not my enemy anymore. It was really hard for me to face him in the battlefield. I often ask myself why, why can fate be this cruel? Even after the war ended, Kira seems to be distant. He always avoids me whenever we meet. Did I do something wrong to him? Hh...what should I do now?

I think for a moment, then I take my cell phone from my pocket and start to write an SMS to him. I ask him to meet me at a restaurant tonight. I must know the reason behind his attitude. I hope he will agree to this. I need to sort the problem out ASAP. This matter is starting to drive me crazy. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. I'm waiting impatiently for his reply.

After 2 minutes (which feel like eternity to me), his reply comes. Just a short OK, nothing else. I sigh in relief then go to my room to prepare myself for this evening. I wonder if he will bring tori with him tonight. I know that he really treasures it, as a gift from me before I went to Plant. Hope everything will be alright.

(Kira's POV)

I sit on my bed, thinking about him and him alone. You can never understand how I feel right now. I'm really, really scared. I've been holding this feeling in for a long time, and I still haven't plucked up the courage to tell him. I can't… I just can't do it… It's impossible to come out with. I think he only thinks of me as his best friend, no more than that.

Tori just stare at me from the opposite side. He has always accompanied me since Athrun left for Plant. He is the first gift I've received from Athrun. It means a lot to me. I just smile sadly at Tori. I'm such a useless person. I'm letting myself drown in this despair. I know I've been avoiding him since we got back here, but I have my own reasons. Everytime I see him, my feelings towards him just get stronger and stronger.

I jumped out of my skin when my cell phone rang. I grabbed it and looked at a screen. '1 new message'. I wonder who it's come from…Could it be him? I'm getting nervous waiting impatiently for the message to open. There are only a few people who know my number after all.

'Kira…let's meet at the usual place. There's something I want to talk about. Please reply."

He wants to talk about something? What could it be? Tori…what should I do? I looked at Tori with pleading eyes, but of course he can't answer my question. I'm still confused as to whether I should go or not. I knew that I miss him so much, but… I'm scared; I don't know how to act in front of him. I'm afraid he'll notice my feelings and end up hating me. I can't stand living without him. It was bad enough that we fought against each other in the war.

Unconsciously, I was already typing an OK on my screen. I stared at it…and then sighed in defeat. I pressed the send button and there was no turning back. I really hope that I won't mess up tonight; I don't want to ruin our friendship. If he can't become my lover, at least he's still my best friend. Right Tori? He just chirped in reply.

(Athrun's POV)

We met at a restaurant which has a private room. I had already reserved it, so no one would be able to disturb us. We must sort up the problem no matter what. I really want to know his reason for avoiding me. I don't think I can hold back my feeling towards him anymore. I think I'm going to take the risk and tell him straight out how I feel.

He sat in front of me, but avoided eye contact. What's wrong with him? I had thought he'd bring Tori with him and sure enough now he was sitting on his shoulder. If only Tori could speak then he could tell me the reason behind his behaviour.

"Kira…what's wrong? Do you hate me or something? Why do you keep avoiding me? Even now I can tell that you're uncomfortable in my presence. Did I do something wrong? If yes, then tell me…so I can make it up to you,"

"No…it's not your fault…you didn't do anything wrong…"

"Then why?"

"I…I can't tell you that… If I do…then you'll hate me,"

He cried. I hurriedly stand up and approached him. I hugged him from behind and rested my head on his shoulder. I've known him for so long yet I feel like a stranger now. I don't know what had caused his pain. I feel so helpless and it's hurts.

"Sshh…don't cry… You know that I won't hate you no matter what… Please…tell me what's wrong… I don't want to see you upset like this… I care for you…"

"Athrun…I can't… I don't have the courage to tell you…"

"Why? Don't you trust me? Listen Kira… I love you… More than a friend… I've been keeping my feelings hidden for a long time. But I can't hide it anymore, the way you avoided me all this time… It's driving me crazy! Kira…"

I let go of him and kneeled in front of him. My eyes met his. Slowly, I leaned forward and kissed him. I wanted him to know what I felt right now. I broke the kiss and waited for his reaction. He touched his lips and just stared at me with his teary eyes.

"Kira…can you feel it? I'm serious about this… I don't want you as my friend anymore… I want you as my lover… That's why I was so upset when you started to avoid me…"

"I… I love you too Athrun… but for the time being…lets stay like we are right now… I don't think I'm ready for this… Is that okay?"

"I'm fine…as long as you're happy. I want to know everything about you, but I don't want to see you crying again…I don't want to see you upset…because every time you do that, my heart breaks… I don't want to be the one who is causing your sadness."

"Arigatou…"

He smiled at me. It had been years since I had seen his smile. The smile that I had been longing for so long. I had often seen his worried or sad face, but I had rarely seen his true smile. I know he's the type of person who didn't want to make people worried about him. He's just like that.

Tori, which had already moved to the table a long time ago, just stared at as and chirped happily. I smiled and touched Kira's hand.

"See? Even Tori is happy for us,"

"Yeah…he is always with me when you're not around… He's important to me, because he's the first gift I got from you,"

I stood and leaned again to kiss him. He's too cute to resist. Especially when he smiled like that. I swore to myself that I'll always protect his smile.

"Athrun,"

"Yes Kira?"

"I'm sorry for avoiding you these past few days… I didn't know that I'd hurt you."

"Never mind… it's in the past,"

He hugged me and kissed my chest. He put his arms around my waist and rested his head against my chest. I smiled softly at him. Maybe we're not a couple yet, but it just a matter of time before we can turn our relationship into something deeper.

End

A/N: My 1st Gundam Seed fic! Hope they're not OOC . Please review! And also, for those who read hesitation, please be very very patient coz we're stuck in one part at this moment, but I promise we'll post it ASAP. Okita Souji is busy right now, so she left the hesitation to me. Sorry guys! But don't worry, we won't left it unfinished!


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